9/11 is still a bitter day for me…

For those who are not aware, eight years ago I also lost my mom.  While it be that she passed away in December, I believe I lost my mom to 9/11.

How is that possible, you ask?

My mom was a very kind-hearted person.  She carried the world’s weight on her shoulders.  When she wasn’t at work, she was glued to the television, watching very bit of scrap of news revolving around 9/11, even if it was a repeated loop on channels like CNN or FOX News.  Her heart went out to those families who lost loved ones during that tragic day.  She cried for them daily.  IN the same gulps of breaths she’d take between breaking down and crying for those families, she’d always voice her gratitude for what she had in her life, for the fact her family was not skinned from the nightmare.

I remember that day very clearly in my mind.  I was at work when my mother called me on my cell phone to get to a television somewhere.  It was like I was in a dream that was passing in slow motion.  Leilani was about one and half years old at the time, so it didn’t phase her.  I am completely appreciative of that fact.

But since that tragic event our nation endured, a piece of my mother’s heart was broken, somehow missing.  It was made worse when my brother left for basic training with the Army, with my mother very aware that our country was very close to opening a full-out war against those who attacked us.  She was right.  She wasn’t alive to see it happen, but I tell you, I am very grateful she wasn’t either because my brother was sent out on the front lines when it happened.

9/11 has also claimed a piece of my brother as well, despite the war in Iraq starting up in March 2003.  My brother is a veteran of the Iraqi War, and has been wounded from it.  My brother has braved three different tours back to the Middle East: two to Iraq and one to Afghanistan.  While I admire my brother for replacing husbands to ensure they stayed with families, being there has done something to him that I will never understand.

Yesterday, it dawned on me in the middle of one of my classes exactly how much 9/11 impacted me.  That day has remained a reminder to me that anyone is vulnerable, even the most powerful country in the world.  That was the point that the terrorists attempted to drive home, and they did it with three major incidents in the matter of one day.

I have to say that this year’s approach to tributes and remembering was what I have been wanting for quite a few years now.  Instead of just mourning, just remembering names and faces of those who we have lost, our nation has made a stand in remembering those who serve in today’s society in the present.  A new call to action of volunteering to be more a part of the community has become a new focus.  In all honesty, I have been saying for years that society has lost focus on home – taking care of our own.  Many have become so wrapped up in their own lives that it is all about them.  Not many take the time to help others.  Our country used to stand for such determination, to help others. 

So, this year, I vow to take a more active approach in my community.  While I may be a teacher, I can advocate through my students.  I already do that.  I encourage them to do many things.  This year, I will encourage volunteerism and community involvement more so with my students.  As a matter of fact, my ultimate goal is to create a plan of action where I can integrate my classroom with some community-based learning experience.  It can be done, I just need to find it.

It will be a working process, but I figured this school year would be the perfect time to find the sources, begin the foundations of relationships, and lay out the plans before I find a more permanent home in a school.  I figure that by the time the next school year approaches, I will have something set in stone, in place for my students to take part in.

Until then, I will work my way through my own two children and anyone else who is willing to help.  Whether it be to donate books, or to simply donate school supplies to our community, I can make a difference through my students.