As I listen to the rain fall softly…

I came to the realization that I have really been slacking on my writing in 2010.  I really need to reel in the creativity and writing and overcome this procrastination.

I know I work a full-time job.  Teaching does take a lot out of a person, especially when it is also an emotional commitment to get the students to buy into the fact that they do need their education as a vital resource of survival.  My sophomores just do not either get it, or choose to deny it and themselves.

I have been having some weird dreams lately about my students.  The short version: I am a student in the classroom, and one of my students happens to be the teacher.

I know what my subconscious is telling me.  I think it is time I reel in the reigns a little on my seniors.  I give them way too many liberties.  I know this, but I thought it was working for everyone involved.  Apparently, I am starting to see a shift that I was not consciously aware of.  So, time to put my foot down a little more.

Home life has been okay.  Michael is fully potty-trained, and yet he has taken into peeing his pants again.  I am curious to why all of a sudden he is having accidents again.  He has been attempting to hold his pee way over the threshold of what his bladder can handle and has been tinkling in his underwear.  I will literally see him to the pee-pee dance, and he will flat our refuse he has to go pee!  Is this normal for four-year old boys?

Leilani has been pretty defiant lately, as well.  She has been doing more in the lying category.  She has been attempting to sneak out money and toys to school.  The one thing I have in my favor is that she is unable to lie without giving herself away.  She is unable to tell a lie without looking down to the ground, avoiding eye contact, and there are just these small mannerisms that just give her away.  We can tell when she gets caught lying when she busts out the tears and getting very angry versus her actually telling the truth where she is just collapsing into a meltdown.  While it does not sound like there is a difference, there is.

Professionally, things are going well for me.  I feel I am finally fitting into a mold within my school.  The students like me, overall.  Many of my sophomores refuse to do work, but at least I can get them to show up almost everyday and at least participate verbally.  It is a start!  I am currently working on a project where we will be bringing Gary Soto, the author of great novels like The Afterlife and Buried Onions.  He will be speaking to three of our English classes on campus.  We had all pooled in with essays and applications to get him to our school and we were one of the chosen schools of about ten total, I believe.  It will be a great experience!  Only my seniors will be participating with this project.  I originally wanted to do all of my classes, but I cannot accommodate all of them within the last two class periods of the day.  So, it was easier to consider the seniors since I have them later on in the day.

Life is good.  I think I am finally where I should be within this crazy world.  Teaching is what I was meant to do.  I mean, I am already a mom.  Now it is time for me to take that to another level and give that maternal love to my students as well.  At first, I did not want to admit to the fact that two other teaching contracts fell through before I was offered to go back to my alma mater.  It wasn’t just fate, it was destined that I go back to where I grew up and help those who feel they have nothing else to work toward.

My goal this year is to ensure as many of my students pass their classes and my seniors graduate as I can get.  No attached number to this goal.  I am not going to go bent out of shape for the ones who truly do not want to try and work for themselves.  But I will definitely be there for those who want me to help them succeed in this chapter of their life.